Makeover Mondays: What Are You Wearing?
Health and Fitness: Get Hot Legs Today!Suzanne Hadley, a writer for Boundless Magazine wrote an amazing article on the myths single ladies believe. You must check it out!
Sarah wrestled with God. For five years she had served as a resident director at a small Bible college. Each day, young women would knock on the door of Sarah's small dorm apartment. The petite, soft-spoken brunette would fix them tea and listen as they poured out their hearts.
"If I could just get my life on track," a 19-year-old would moan. "Then God would bring a godly man into my life."
Sarah spoke encouraging words, but inside she felt annoyed. I'm in my late 20s and unmarried. What issue do you think I need to work on?
As Sarah wrestled with this contradiction, she discovered something: She and the women around her were succumbing to lies about their singleness. Some of these myths had been instilled in them as little girls growing up in Christian homes.
Most Deadly Myths:
God will give me a husband when I'm ready. I recently spoke with a friend in her 30s who casually said the reason she was not yet married was because evidently the Lord had decided she was not "ready." Whether they say it or not, many single women believe that procuring a spouse is somehow performance based. If I were just godly enough, the Lord would give me a husband.
Not true! There is a danger in equating marriage with spiritual maturity. God teaches us to depend on Him as singles, but these lessons are not reserved for the mate-less. All of us are sinners, which means we are all constantly striving to crucify the flesh and be more like Christ.
Being in a single state may or may not have anything to do with your readiness. It likely has more to do with God's timing. If you are daily allowing the Lord to mold you into His image, you are probably ready to be in a Christ-centered relationship. Realizing this may allow you to be more alert to the godly men around you.
God views me more as a useful tool than a beloved child. As a gifted resident assistant, Sarah sometimes felt like Psalm 37:4 didn't apply to her: "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Instead of believing that God cared about her dreams, Sarah suspected He was withholding these things because she was more useful to Him in a single state.
People have often told me, "God has allowed you to be single so you might do these things for Him!" While I know these people are seeking to encourage me, my gut reaction is, Why me? It's true that God may set us apart for a season of singleness, but that doesn't mean He is indifferent to our dreams.
Matthew 7:11 says, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" God views you a cherished child — never a utilitarian object. A loving Father will give you good gifts at just the right time.
When it's the right guy, I'll just know. When I was in eighth grade I drew "the one" on a sheet of notebook paper. He had the post-mullet Steven Curtis Chapman haircut, wore hiking books and sported several oddly-placed muscles. Among his more critical characteristics were intelligence, godliness and good hygiene. I had specific ideas about who my husband would be, even what he would look like. (If I met the guy in my picture today, I'd run the other way.)
Christian culture (and eHarmony) has created a romanticized picture of what meeting your spouse will be like. In the classic I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris writes: "Too many couples overspiritualize the decision of whom they marry. Instead of realizing that God leads us by providing wisdom and allowing us to make our own choices, those couples wait for a 'mystical experience' that will tell them what to do."
Just as my junior high mind projected who I would recognize as "the one," my grown-up self entertains expectations of how I'll feel when my "soul mate" arrives on the scene. The truth is, God knows best the kind of man who will inspire me to greater devotion to Him. As I seek the Lord, I can trust Him to reveal that person to me in whatever way He sees fit.
As you pass the average marrying age, it can be tempting to panic. It's helpful to remember Paul's words in Romans 11:36: "For from him and through him and to him are all things." All things. As you cultivate godly attitudes and avoid damaging lies, you allow the Lord to pour out the things He has for you. That way, when the right guy comes along, you'll be ready.
To read more of this article and all of the myths Suzanne discusses click here.
Copyright © 2007 Suzanne Hadley. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. This article was published on Boundless.org on March 16, 2012.
God Bless!
